Admittly, I am distracted by a WalMart deveopment in my neighborhood. I am all for cleaning up a blighted corner, but not if the choice is poor growth management. I am confused about why my city council felt it necessary to speed through the paper work process for approval. Who gets a bonus for this? Yes, who is getting a kick back for this development? The other three strip plazas one of which has over 200 vacant units of store front and the other two have large scale supermarkets less than 2 miles away. This choice is shameful. Worst of all, I am allowing my emotional reaction to effect my productivity. I am hoping that by sharing this speed bump in my road that I can return to my world of marketing, updating my websites, and actually photographing.
I began to battle this distraction by writing; for a more calming meditative moment, I painted with watercolors. I have lost that center balance. My normal 15 minutes in the morning needed something more intense. This morning I have returned to writing admitting that this bump in the road is really bothering me. Why do those that claim they represent us or our best interests make wrong choices? What is it that motivates the self fulfilling greed that prompts these paradoxical choices? Is it the remaining good ole' boy group or my idealism that proper representation actually means constituents are represented? I could eat the other half of the brownies I made last night. No wonder my undergrad college history professor drank vodka from a flask. History repeating over and over broke his heart.
So, when we love something that melds or just evolves, the metamorphosis can be disappointing. I am disappointed that "the elders" who are maintaining watch over the community have become what those before them declared opposition to. Each politician claims to be better than the past, but really just ends up being the same. Our children will learn this disappointment soon enough for they will be responsible for the consequences of our poor decisions. I am disheartened by the shadowy future my son must prepare to battle. I want to skate away with Joni Mitchell on her pond; I want to hide in an artist colony protected from all that is tainted and non-art; I want my mother.
Perhaps, that is the lesson learned: the people that we share life with that makes any road traveled worth it. I will think about this some more and. for now, call some friends that make me smile.
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